Being There

Our three daughters are grown and now have their own families.  So we have moved from busy parents juggling work, school and extra-curricular activities, to empty-nesters and now back to busy schedules as we work full-time and support our grandchildren in band, sports and dance. I’m so thankful that our family has always supported each other because we recognize the importance of being there.

Growing up without the traditional family unit, I didn’t have the supportive mom and dad who came to everything I was involved in. When I was very young, my grandparents and aunt would show up for me when I was involved in a church or school program, but once I got older and my grandfather passed away, most of the activities I was involved in were absent of supporters for me.  I didn’t really think much of it then, but as my own daughters became active in various activities and now that I have grandchildren, it is paramount to me that I’m there to support them in everything I can.

In recent years, I have come to understand that I desperately craved attention as a child.  I made up grand, fantastic stories so that I would seem interesting or popular to my classmates, but I was far from popular and was often picked on.  At home I hid away and played make-believe so that I could escape into a world of my own where I was accepted, protected and loved.  Sadly, I carried many of those same coping mechanisms into adulthood.  Constantly seeking selfish approval, attention, and wanting to be recognized for doing something grand and noteworthy. I wanted life to be about what I had done or what I had accomplished.  I wanted to BE somebody and would become envious of others who were given opportunities I wanted to be a part of. I worked for years to manufacture who I felt I wanted to be, only to be left with disappointment, rejection, and low self-esteem while envy ate away at my core.

So how does someone come out of that mindset and way of living to a life of perfect peace, joy and confidence in who they are?  For me it was all God and the experiences in life that He brought me through.  The valleys of life where He does His best teaching, if we will listen. Through many valleys and teaching moments, He taught me to trust completely in Him, not in myself.  I had tried living life to make me happy but failed miserably. There was absolutely nothing I could do in my own strength that would bring peace and contentment to my life. As God restored me back to my husband, He developed a desire to selflessly serve him and focus on His desires rather than my own.  From there, I learned to be intentional in building relationships and learned to become a faithful and trusted friend. I’d had so few people I could truly trust, so I made a priority to be a trusted friend to others. 

In short, I began to experience the joy of giving myself away. Those personal, one-on-one conversations with a friend or loved one. That’s where your influence matters the most. Everyone needs that person who has earned the right to speak truth in love. There is no one else that can be the influence that you can be to those around you.

Be intentional in every relationship.

Be there for your family.

Be there for your friends.

Be there to share your story with others. You have no idea how others need to hear your story.

Be there, because someone needs you to be the person God created you to be.